Postpartum Confessions

Having a baby is the most wonderful experience ever, but there's a part of maternity that we don't talk about much since it's maybe suppressed  by having our bundle of joy with us, or because it's difficult to accept that not everything is as pretty as it looks. Baby blues is a hard thing to handle for most women. Overwhelemed by the changes in their lives, not having the support, and any other situation that can make life harder for a new mom can lead those "baby blues" into a "postpartum depression".

Feeling Blue

I felt the "baby blues" with my first pregnancy. First, I felt "empty". When you are pregnant, your blood pressure rises and hormones make you feel a special warmth. This "warmth" was gone the day after my baby was born. The changes in my body of having 9 months my baby inside made me feel afterwards that something was missing. I knew this was going to happen, so I just accepted this feeling and tried not to focus in this since my baby needed me.
I cried a lot during the first week. I remember feeling alone even though I had all my family supporting me, since my husband was working in another town, at 500 km from my city. The fact that he couldn't be in the birth of our first child was a little spine itching me. I cried some nights, couple of minutes, again accepting my feelings but keeping in mind I needed to stay in control for my child.

 

Support and Confort

Breastfeeding really helped me. The hormones involved in breastfeeding relaxed me and at that time I bonded with my child. La Leche Legue's meetings also were a confort for my soul. I spoke and heard women going through the same or worst situations than me. Having a time for me during those meeting was like therapy.
Even though my husband was far away, I started to miss him a little less since I thought I had a little piece of him with me. Few weeks later he was hired in the city, so he came back. He confessed me that he didn't want to be away from us. So I felt good having him at home. Still I didn't feel "like me" yet. I knew that hormones were doing all of this, so I needed to be pacient with myself and just let it be. Later on I walked at the park, did yoga, and little by little everything turned brighter.

How to Prevent Postpartum Depression

Besides eating fruits and vegetables, drinking water, doing exercise, and talking to supporting people, you need to set ground in the relationship (if you have one) with your couple. Women that suffer postpartum depression are usually those whose marriages are not quite well or single moms, which not having the support of their men and the resentment of all what is happening plus the hormone disbalance, makes them quite vulnerable.
I think it's very important to learn and inform yourself about what are the normal feeling after you've given birth and which you need to be concerned about. Whatever feeling that makes you go against your child or yourself is not normal. In this case, search for professional help and ask someone of your trust to be there for your baby.
Having friends that support you as a mother is also key to get through the blues. Whoever makes you feel unconfortable, you have all the right to simply stay away from that person. Remember that the well-being of your child depends on your skills as a mother. Having the confort, love, and support will make you feel confident, which is important in order to have better parenting skills.