Working and Attached

To be a working mom it’s not impossible. The key, as I always say, is to set priorities. Your main job is to be a mom, your other job is to provide you child material things, and in some cases, education (if it’s in a private institute). So setting a balance between needs and wants is crucial to be a successful mom.

A Mother’s Ideal Workplace

It could be an issue handling your career as a professional and been a mother. There are careers that demand more of you than others, as well as workplaces. If you want to succeed as a mom, you’ll need to set aside, for at least 5 years, a growing career. Remember that what you invest in your child is what you’ll harvest in the future. Not spending enough time with your baby or toddler IS going to affect emotionally, socially, and even intellectually your child. There’s no better stimulator than a mother.

Make sure your workplace is close to home. In case of having your toddler in a day-care, make sure is also close to home and work. If baby stays with someone at home, you can teach the person how to be an “attached” caregiver by telling her not to “let cry” your baby and by holding him in a sling if he doesn’t crawl yet. Having your workplace close to your child is a way to spend more time with him, since you are not spending precious time in traffic. Also you’re close to attend any issue your child might have.

The workplace should be also “mom friendly”. Panamanian laws are clear that mothers have the right to bump breastmilk or breastfeed their children for an hour. Make sure there’re laws that support breastfeeding at work in your country. If not, find a way to negotiate part of your lunch time to breastfeed (that’s why living near work is ideal) or to bump. Babies should be a priority in all matters to a society; including the fact that breastmilk is the most important and best source of nutrition for them.

If you have the chance (economically) to go for a part-time job, do it. You can also find the possibility of working at home. All the time available for your child, take it. Set aside some lifestyle that takes money and precious time with your baby, and you’ll see you can live with much less, giving more to your child. Working extra for more money will make you “richer” but not a successful mother. Remember money comes and goes, but time that you lost with your child will never come back.

How I’ve Manage It

I’m a pre-school teacher, but I work full time. I found the teaching career wonderful while been a mother. My house is 5-11 min (depending on traffic) from work. My older child’s day care is in the middle between work and home (walking distance from both). Location, location, location…

I managed to have my babies at the end of the school year (vacation and my baby-leave all in one). I left my children with 3 months before going back to work, instead of the 1 and a half month most working moms have to.

A breastmilk bank was an important thing to me. I managed to have at least 150 bags and bottles in my freezer. How I did it? Well I bumped since day one I got home from the hospital. The first month after giving birth is the time when your body regulates the amount of milk you’ll have for the next months or years. So I managed to have a stable milk production. I made sure to buy a great bumper (Medela) that included a cooler to preserve the milk. I always bump and breastfeed my children as soon as I come back from work, although they are drinking much less.

Teaching is also a great plus, since vacations are in time with your kid’s. Also you have the same schedule, so you can always pick up your children or be at home on time with them.
My rule is to never take work to home. I manage my time at work to finish all of it. I also stopped tutoring since the birth of my first child. Time with my children has more value than the salary I made from extra work.

When my second child wasn’t a crawler, as soon I came from work I put him a ring sling. I played with my toddler while sharing warmth with my baby tugged in the sling. Today I just play with both of them on the floor and manage all what have to do with them with the help of my husband.

There’re ways to handle work and motherhood, but if you want to be an “attached” parent and be a professional on your child, you need to focus on been a parent, on giving more of yourself rather than giving everything to your child. Never forget that when you become a parent, that’s what you are and you’ll be for the rest of your life.